Indeed, sir

Wow, so many stories.  I went to America (it was awesome).  Andy and Dan visited (it was awesome).  I helped catch and cook and eat! an iguana (it was awesome).  I witnessed a mental breakdown in the jungle (not awesome).  And I've recently been nailing down money for projects like I was...dang it who was that guy with the hammer?  You know the song I'm thinking of?  Children's song.  Something about a button factory?  I could have gone the John Henry route, but I was thinking the button factory song. 

But yeah, instead it's a post about life.  Yup, reflection time.  We just had our midservice training and it drove home the fact that we are past the halfway point.  I'm done in less than 9 months.  As part of the training, I re-read my Aspiration Statement. 

The Aspiration Statement is a part of the application process - the unoriginal but ever loved "why do you want to do this" essay.

......

Yeah, I started writing this three months ago.  Weak, I know.  What can I say.  Sorry?  So I'll just pretty much ignore the above, but I won't delete it (posterity).

You get a lot of time to think out here.  In a way, that was partially the point for me.  Take the time to see the forest (and all the trees!)  Smell the roses!  Contemplate my navel!  Or at least consider life in a place where it isn't exactly simpler, but it is more....connected.  What I mean by that is, out here, there are fewer excuses.

You can see the connection between what you reap and what you sow more clearly, because there is less clutter.  If you work hard and live well with people, stuff generally goes well.  If not, then less so.  I'm not just talking about me personally, but what I observe in my community.  The ability to see that relationship between cause and effect is important.  It means people have to take responsibility for themselves and make choices about their priorities.  Many people out here do not have the priorities you and I might, but it's less likely to be a "failure" out here.  It just is.  They make their bed and then they sleep in it.  Content.

Perhaps even more impactful, it is also easier to see the lack of connection. What you do does NOT always determine what you get.  We in the West often have an illusion of control - or a need for it - that means we think we can and must do more than is possible. People here are far less likely to have that luxury, or that burden.  If it doesn't rain, your food doesn't grow.  If it rains too much, your stuff gets wet. You confront that reality every day here and so you are more likely to accept it and live in the present in a way that is impossible for many of us.  Of course, do too much of that and you lose your visionaries, your planners, your entrepreneurs.  That queen of England really had it right, huh?

What I mean to say is - this is a pretty good place to think about life.  Because it is so different - while still being so much the same - that you get a pretty good perspective and the time and space to consider it.

I also recommend hammocks for that purpose.

So what I have done with all of that opportunity and perspective? Well you think about all those big, soul searching questions.  It's pretty cool because you do actually get a few answers. Without getting too into it,I think I'm finally ready to make myself a home.  I'm not looking necessarily to settle down, put down roots, or junk like that.  But still - Ithaca is kind of home, Ohio is definitely home, and here is surprisingly home.  Temporary or whatever, but still.  I've made this my home.  I want to do that again in an apartment or whatever somewhere.  Preferably NYC or DC, you know.  It doesn't have to be literal, but I'm ready to do it conceptually.  And I need to literally change my permanent address away from my parents'.

Pretty mushy, I know.  What can I say, this isn't the self help section - it's the jungle!  And an adventure!  But still, it's valuable. And it's nice to spend your time feeling like you are adding value to your own life and others.

Later,

Evan